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Two poems by Subhaga Crystal Bacon

24/9/2020

 
Balsamic Moon: Last Quarter before New
                                                                    
I took my aching heart for a walk above the river
seeking solace of rocks, and wind to clear me.
Balsamic moon, time of rest, of healing.
 
Blackbirds swooped tree to tree, to horizon.
Lilacs hanging heavy, bowed by fragrance and futility,
I took my aching heart for a walk above the river.
 
Balsam flower roots, the size of a hand, boil
into medicine. Leaf, flower, seed: all good
like the Balsamic moon, time of rest, of healing.
 
I lie down in arrow leaves, last shower of yellow
petals, cool and fragrant their little shade. The weight
of unshed tears in my aching heart, a river.
 
There’s a time to be lost in yourself, unknown as foreign land,
to listen for wisdom in your darkened quarters like this
Balsamic moon, last sliver of light, time of rest, of healing.
 
Silence holds the answer to the questions you don’t ask, like blackbirds
feeding on Balsam seeds. If you listen, you will hear them
in your aching heart’s lost river under Balsamic moon,
last quarter before new, time of rest, of healing.
 

Still Here
 
Another sleepless night, pull of the moon
or some internal weather moved by time’s
changing rhythms. I walk, somnambulist,
in the new morning, west where the sun goes
each lengthening day to rest. I sit on the waking
earth. Last year’s grasses bleached platinum
on this south facing slope. River runs. Sky
unmarred by cloud thins along the sun-bright
ridge. I can see through each shadow of tree
the snow-dusted cheeks of hill and the age lines
left by deer. The dog paces in rustling steps
to check if I’m still here. I’m still, here.

(Subhaga Crystal Bacon the author of two volumes of poetry, Blue Hunger, 2020 from Methow Press, and Elegy with a Glass of Whisky, BOA Editions, 2004. A cis-gender, Queer identified woman, she lives, writes, and teaches on the east slope of the North Cascade Mountains, in Twisp, WA.)


It Had That Swing- a poem by Ed Ahern

17/9/2020

 
It Had That Swing
 
My mother spent evenings listening to records.
Years of evenings.
78’s and 33’s, and only big band swing.
All named after the band leader.
 
The bands are largely forgotten now,                         
but there were Jimmy and Tommy Dorsey,
Woody Herman and Harry James,
Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller.
 
My mother, widowed and jobless,
Played the music of her courtship,
Of a yet unburdened future,
At least twice a week.
 
I never liked the music,
But had nowhere else to go,
And absorbed it despite myself,
Melodies lingering decades later.
 
In cleaning out her house
I couldn’t throw away the records
And suitcased them back home.
Never played, almost forgotten.
 
They’re serious collectibles now,
Worthwhile selling off,
But I can’t discard the future
She almost had.

(Ed Ahern resumed writing after forty odd years in foreign intelligence and international sales. He’s had over two hundred fifty stories and poems published so far, and six books. Ed works the other side of writing at Bewildering Stories, where he sits on the review board and manages a posse of six review editors.)


Alone Again As Before- a poem by Yash Seyedbagheri

10/9/2020

 
Alone Again As Before

I stare at nightscapes
stars flicker a little too bright
over nearby rooftops
where Lady Gaga and House of Pain regale partygoers
I imagine bodies bouncing in basements
speakers thumping, dim lights glowing
 
like last week
I speak to the night
trying to find words
to describe vastness
sterility of rooms without pictures
 inbox without emails
 
without the simple words. we’d love to invite you.
I try to speak
talk to me. get together for a quick drink.
please. may I join?
I’d like to join
I’d really like to
 
pronounce the words, but awkward
hands reach into the air
and I feel a thousand scenarios
mockery, apathy, ignorance marching
thumping. voice pulls back into sterility
like last week
 
and many last weeks
 
why can’t I just speak?
at least the wounded words would be spoken

(Yash Seyedbagheri is a graduate of Colorado State University's MFA program in fiction. A native of Idaho, Yash’s work is forthcoming or has been published in WestWard Quarterly, Café Lit, and Ariel Chart, among others.)

 
 

Two poems by Cemile Kabadayi

3/9/2020

 
I forgive you
 
To the thug, the creep, the criminal
You who has to sneak in the shadows of night,
Your life of deceit is subliminal, yet you’re the only one who cannot see it.  
Even when your lies are cast into the light, still you fight.
Manipulation and coercion without shame, to achieve your own personal gain,
This became my harrowing pain, melancholic misery, your actions were to blame.
The issue of consent is clear, no means no, but somehow you chose not to hear.
Your need to satisfy yourself has cost me my dignity, my job and my spiritual health.
Created emotional wounds visible for the world to see, gaping and raw, swallowed by a whirlwind of anxiety.
I am grateful you were not violent, if not only because the sheer shock caused my silent compliance.
Initially overcome with confusion, an unsettling feeling pushed aside as I fall victim to insidious manipulation.
Sadly I was blinded by delusion, a deceptive illusion of who I hoped you’d be,
The hideous man you are wasn’t evident to me, distracted by my own helplessness,
It’s clear now why I wasn’t able to see.
But slowly you revealed yourself to me, a monster, challenged mentally, a liar lacking empathy.
The police confirmed your multiple criminal convictions, they already have you marked as high risk on their systems.
Flooded with anger and insomnia, engulfed by mountainous waves of horror, I submerged in self pity.
I did request however, for the police not to make an arrest.
I’m still not so sure this was best, But my heart needed to rest,
Involving the police certainly wouldn’t increase my sense internal peace, their endless questions followed by your relentless lies.
Justice or peace, my heart had to decide.
Then it was your mum whom I wished I could tell, perhaps your ex wife even more so,
The man you truly are they deserved to know, desperately seeking a way to let this pain go.
 
But thankfully the pain is no more, my heart returned to peace, the wound no longer sore.
Now I am able to forgive you and wish you well, for you are just mentally unwell,
I extend compassion and loving kindness in hope that one day you will see through your nastiness and surrender your ego based righteousness.
I however, have survived this dark phase and have nothing other than gratitude and praise
For endless value arises from that brief encounter, an unexpected elevation in spiritual power.
I embrace my suffering, knowing that flowers don’t grow without rain.
Self-reflection inspired by my pain, pain which drove me insane, yet showed me that something needed to change.
Paradoxically my loss of dignity has lead to greater clarity.
Paradoxically I chose to be powerful, not pitiful, creating victory out of tragedy, 
Paradoxically your trickery helped me to look inside, to where my own deceptions hide.
Internal fears, tainted values and silly ideas. I have let go of all of this.
I no longer need a man’s flattery, no longer burdened by this type of insecurity.
No longer do I fear rejection, that was nothing but a mere projection
I no longer need male validation, no longer time wasting seeking and chasing
I have stopped running and hiding, it’s myself I have started facing.
I am able to transcend my story. My past, my pain no longer has power over me. I am free.
God sent you to me to help me see, that all I need is within me.
I just need to love me to be free.
 
Anxiety
 
This anxiety inside of me, really ought to be set free,
Just let it go, it’s driving me crazy.
Spinning my head around and around, this mental block,
Sometimes leaves me bed bound.
Hours, days, years. Confusion transported through my tears.
Like a heavy river, fears and frustrations once again flood the banks of self composure
A single thought can cause a thousand heart beats.
That’s too much weight to carry man, I’ve only got size 7 feet.
Am I creating thoughts or are my thoughts creating me?
Sometimes it can be hard to see. Is this really reality or just my perception?
Endless day dreams, sometimes even night mares.
Exhausting my sense of positivity, diminishing my creative flare.
My thoughts seem so unclear, this internal chaos.
It can be like a whirlwind in here.
 
 
Worry, worry, worry. I’m so bored of this.
 If there’s anything I’ve excelled at in life, it certainly is this.
Can people see that sometimes I’m a helpless mess?
Does my face show signs of stress, hiding eyes, tainted smiles?
Or have I convinced everyone that I’m powerful and strong,
That I can handle it, even when things go wrong?
I guess I can
 
Now listen miss, sit in your seat of self-respect, take a moment to reflect.
Your childhood spent in foster care, various places, so many faces,
often left you wondering if anybody really cares.
A life without parents has been hard and yeah, it’s definitely left some scars.
But from the way that I have grown, to hold my own, yet never really been shown.
I’m more than blessed.
I have risen against all adversity, damn I even made it university
And I’m not just an average pass, girl you got yourself a first class 
So next time you’re about to break a sweat, just remember there is no real threat.
You’re on the right path, you’ve got a great life, wonderful friends and an amazing job.
None of this is pretend, this really is reality
 
 
(Cemile Kabadayi based in South London, is very excited about having her original poetry reviewed for publishing in The Beautiful Space Journal. Much of Cemile’s Poetry is authentically themed around mental health and surviving challenging circumstances. Cemile is comforted by the idea of others reading her poems and finding solace through identification.)


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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    The Beautiful Space-
    ​A  Journal of Mind, Art and Poetry.


    1. This is your literary journal to publish your unpublished poems and artwork related to themes of the mind, the body, the soul, mental health, health, healing, illness and the brain.   
    ​
    2. We may occasionally accept work not related to above themes as long as it is of good quality and relevant to our project.

    ​3. We aim to publish work of one author every week depending upon the rate of submissions and quality of work.
    ​
    ​4. We publish work of both established and new writers.

    5. All submissions will be subject to peer review before accepting for publication. We will contact you ( within 8-12 weeks) only if we decide to publish your work.
    ​

    Submit Poems & Artwork
    1. You can submit your poems ( max 50 lines, up to three poems at a time, all in one document), & Artwork.

    2. We are happy to publish anonymous work as well as stories if you choose to as long as we hold your details in our records.

    3. All submissions should be your own unpublished original work.

    4. All submissions will be reviewed before accepting for the publication. Decision of our reviewing team will be final.

    5. Please send all your work as one Microsoft word document file, align to left of the page and font 12 Times New Roman with your details to the following email​. Submit Art work as pictures in jpq format.

    ​6. Please also include one sentence personal bio you would like to be published with your work

    ​thebeautifulspace@gmail.com

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    Categories

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    2020- A Poem By Javed Alam
    7 Days After My Sister’s Death- A Poem By Richard Vargas
    7 Days After My Sister’s Death- A Poem By Richard Vargas
    9/11- A Poem By Peter Mladinic
    ACTIVE OPTIONS- A Poem By Maureen Sangster
    A Dry Mournful Tune- A Poem By Sy Roth
    A Labyrinth Of Strangers-a Poem By Howard Brown
    All I Ever- A Poem By Tia Reiser
    Alone Again As Before- A Poem By Yash Seyedbagheri
    A Minor Distraction- A Poem By Bruce McRae
    Anxiety-a Poem By Hazel Ryder
    Apathetic Ennui- A Poem By Emily Mulligan
    A Poem By Vincent Zepp
    Artwork By Sherri Porrit
    Artwork By Zahra Aghayan
    A Time To Seek- A Poem By Scott Thomas Outlar
    A Train To Somewhere- A Poem By Linda Imbler
    Bare Bones Reality- A Poem By C. B. Buckner
    Behind The Wheel-a Poem By John Patrick Robbin
    Between Us- A Poem By Johann
    Bird In The Wire
    Breaking Free
    Broken But Easily Fixed- A Poem By Clare Roche
    Bumper Sticker- A Poem By Matt Borczon
    Catching Myself- A Poem By Kitty Donnelly
    Cerebral Lament- A Poem By Siri Espy
    Choosing What To Say- A Poem By Martin Willitts Jr
    Clinic- A Poem By Henry Bladon
    Couldn't Be Written Or Worn- A Poem By Uzomah Ugwu
    Cry For Help
    Curved Waters- A Poem By Dr Maureen Shyamala Rajamoney
    Dancing On Waves- A Poem By Karim Harvey
    Dark
    Dataism- A Poem By Yuan Changming
    Dear Future- A Poem By Anna Rivers
    Dear Kathryne
    Deep In My Couch- A Poem By Michael Lee Johnson
    Deliverance- A Poem By Paula Matthews
    Diagnosis- A Poem By Margaret Krusinga
    Dissociated- A Poem By Matthew Borczon
    Edge Of The Cliff- A Poem By Andrew Scott
    Emergency Room- A Poem By Dr Mudasir Firdosi
    Escape- A Poem By Amit Parmessur
    Fear Cycle- A Poem By Katie Lewington
    Field- A Poem By Rosie Woods
    First Real Spring Day Without You- A Poem By Denise Thompson-Slaughter
    From Now And Here- A Poem By Bruce McRae
    Gentle As Water- A Poem By Marcus Severns
    Heal The World In Love-an Essay By Linda M Crate
    Heartache
    HERMAN MELVILLE DECIDES ON THE COLOR OF HIS WHALE- A Poem By Richard Holinger
    Hiding My Truth- A Poem By John Zurn
    Home As A Story- A Poem By Cristina Leone
    How Do You Self Love- A Poem By Leisly
    How To NOT Manage Mental Illness-a Poem By Javed Alam
    I Am You You Are Me- A Poem By Joseph Tradii
    I'm Mars And You Are Venus- A Poem By David Grigorian
    In Praise Of …Mind..Less- A Poem By The Philosophical Pigeon
    Interrupted- A Poem By Sarah Henry
    In Trauma- A Poem By Dr. Shailja Sharma
    I See You- A Poem By Tia Wray
    It Had That Swing- A Poem By Ed Ahern
    It’s A Beautiful Drive On Highway 14- A Poem By Danny P. Barbare
    I Won’t End With Rage- A Poem By Mike Zimmerman
    Julie- A Poem By Paul Warren
    Kaleidoscope Brain- A Poem By Rebecca Carley
    Leaving Me With A Years’ Worth Of Writing- A Poem By David Elvis Gale
    Letting Go (so You Can Just Fall Asleep)- A Poem By Melanie Browne
    Life
    Life And Death And In-between Moments- A Poem By Sunil Sharma
    Life Was A Phoenix- A Poem By David Grigorian
    Light
    Loss- A Poem By Louis Kasatkin
    Lost And Found- A Poem By Siri Espy
    Luisa Maria- A Poem By Caroline Am Bergris
    Maintenance- A Poem By James Penha
    Major Depressive Disorder- A Poem By Ryan Quinn Flanagan
    Mind
    Moon Paper- A Poem By James Diaz
    Mournful Tune- A Poem By Sy Roth
    My Bell Jar- A Poem By Marc Darnell
    My Heart Leaps Up- A Poem By Rajnish Mishra
    Neocortex- A Poem By Dr. Jennifer Wolkin
    Night
    Once Upon A Time
    One-Way Ticket- A Poem By Emily
    On The Way-a Poem By Chani Zwibel
    Opinions Are Like- A Poem By John Patrick Robbins
    Our Brain- A Poem By Dr Javed Alam
    Our Family Closet- A Poem By Joan McNerney
    Painting Of A Farm
    Panic Attack Protocol- A Poem By David Icenogle
    Parkinson's- A Poem By Louis Kasatkin
    Path Of Wisdom- A Poem By Pramod Rastogi
    Patience
    Phantom Hand- A Poem By Bruce McRae
    Pieces- A Poem By Wendy Garnier
    Praised Be The God Of Cats:-a Poem By Rosie Woods
    Pressing Three- A Poem By Monica Mills
    Psych Ward- A Poem By Regina Elliott
    PTSD-a Poem By Ryan Quinn Flanagan
    Releasing-a Poem By Allison Grayhurst
    Road Trip-a Poem By A.Clifton
    Rugby- A Poem By A. Clifton
    Sam's Mystique-a Poem By Linda Imbler
    Second Round Of Chemo- A Poem By Bruce Spang
    She Walked Out On Me Two Weeks Ago
    Shoegazers's Dreams Of Snow:Clad Sanity-a Poem By Sudeep Adhikari
    Silent Chaos- A Poem By Megha Sood
    Social Isolation – What’s The Alternative?- An Essay By Sultana Raza
    Social Isolation – What’s The Alternative?- An Essay By Sultana Raza
    Social Media Girl- A Poem By Lauren Martyn
    Something Like A Wheel- A Poem By Alice Smith
    Soul Mate
    Stagnant Puddles- A Poem By Tohm Bakelas
    Styx & Stones- A Poem By Angelina Chartrand
    Survivor- A Poem By Lynn White
    Sustained- A Poem By Ford Dagenham
    The Bouncy Ball Man’s Bi-polar Journey- A Poem By Linda Imbler
    The Bread Shop- A Poem By Vivien Yap
    The Celestial Stardust- A Poem By Thomas Patrick Hywel Williams
    The Colonized- A Poem By Randall Rogers
    The Craft- A Poem By Keith Landrum
    The Fall- A Poem By Jane H Fitzgerald
    The Fire Of Reunion-a Poem By Abu Zayd
    The Forgotten Life Of Velma Evans- A Poem By Linda Imbler
    ​The Fragrant Face Of The Rainbow- A Poem By Hongri Yuan
    ​The Fragrant Face Of The Rainbow- A Poem By Hongri Yuan
    The Inlay Work On The Left Side Of The Brain- A Poem By Winston Plowes
    The Masquerade- A Prose Poem By Abu Zayd
    The Nest- A Poem By James Mulhern
    The New Room- A Poem By Gwil James Thomas
    The Perfectionism Police- A Poem By Athena Milios
    There Is Bliss- A Poem By Jeremy Gadd
    There’s No Place Like Home- A Poem By Mike L. Nichols
    There’s No Place Like Home- A Poem By Mike L. Nichols
    The Small Dance- A Poem By Paul Brucker
    The Struggle Beyond Life
    The Wall-a Poem By Levi Mericle
    The Way We Go- A Poem By Diana Devlin
    The Wild Blueberries- A Poem By Caroline James
    They Have Flown- A Poem By Thasia Anne
    Thinking Outside [BOXES]- A Poem By Allan Lake
    Third Generation- A Poem By Robin DeFrance
    This Poem Replaces All Previous Poems - A Poem By John Grey
    Thought- A Poem By Anthony David Vernon
    Three Poems By Ahmad Al-Khatat
    Three Poems By Alice Smith
    Three Poems-by Ann Christine Tabaka
    Three Poems By Austin Vertesch
    Three Poems By Barbara D’Emilio
    Three Poems By Barbara D’Emilio
    Three Poems By Brian Rihlmann
    Three Poems By Carol Alena Aronoff
    Three Poems By Ceinwen E Cariad Haydon
    Three Poems By Charlie Brice
    Three Poems By C.L. Liedekev
    Three Poems By Damion Hamilton
    Three Poems By Eduard Schmidt-Zorner
    Three Poems By Edward Lee
    Three Poems By Gary Glauber
    Three Poems By Glen Armstrong
    Three Poems - By John D Robinson
    Three Poems By KD Williams
    Three Poems-by Kitty Donnelly
    Three Poems By Linda Stevenson
    Three Poems By Mark A. Murphy
    Three Poems By Maryam El-Shall
    Three Poems By M. J. Arcangelini
    Three Poems By Rajnish Mishra
    Three Poems By RC James
    Three Poems By RM Yager
    Three Poems By Ruth Asch
    Three Poems - By Ryan Quinn Flanagan
    Three Poems By Samuel W. James
    Three Poems By Saoirse Love
    Three Poems By Sharon Thompson
    Three Poems By Sophia Falco
    Three Poems By Yuan Hongri (Translated By Manu Mangattu)
    Tile Art Work
    Treating Depression- A Poem By Javed Latoo
    Two Poem- By Ahmad Al-Khatat
    Two Poem By John Zurn
    Two Poems-by Adam Levon Brown
    Two Poems By Ahmad Al-Khatat
    Two Poems- By Ahmad Al-Khatat
    Two Poems By Anthony Crutcher
    Two Poems By Asper Blurry
    Two Poems By Cemile Kabadayi
    Two Poems By Claire Unis
    Two Poems By Craig Snelgrove
    Two Poems -by Darren C. Demaree
    Two Poems By David Dephy
    Two Poems By E. Martin Pedersen
    Two Poems - By Gale Acuff
    Two Poems By Gerard Sarnat
    Two Poems By Hongri Yuan -Translated By Yuanbing Zhang
    Two Poems By Howard Brown
    Two Poems- By Howard Brown
    Two Poems By Jacqueline Jules
    Two Poems- By Jeevan Bhagwat
    Two Poems By Jeri Thompson
    Two Poems- By Joe Lynch
    Two Poems By Keziah Spaine
    Two Poems By Kirsty A. Niven
    Two Poems-by Kristy Keller
    Two Poems By Laura Slack
    Two Poems By Oormila Vijayakrishnan Prahlad
    Two Poems- By Rajnish Mishra
    Two Poems By Ryan Quinn Flanagan
    Two Poems- By Ryan Quinn Flanagan
    Two Poems By Sarah Losner
    Two Poems- By Scott Thomas Outlar
    Two Poems By Serafina Valenzuela
    Two Poems- By Sheikha A.
    Two Poems By Steve Carter
    Two Poems By Subhaga Crystal Bacon
    Two Poems -by Sunil Sharma
    Two Poems By TAK Erzinger
    Two Poems- By TAK Erzinger
    Two Poems By Tapeshwar Prasad
    Two Poems By Thomas Zimmerman
    Two Poems By Timothy Resau
    Two Poems By Tom JF Wood
    Two Poems By Vivian Wagner
    Two Poems By Wendy Gabriel
    Two Poems By Wolfie
    Urban Oasis- A Poem By Geri Owens
    Visiting Time
    Waking To Darkness-a Poem By Michael H. Brownstein
    What's In A Name? By Kiranjeet Chaturvedi
    When Lightning Touches The Ground- A Poem By Michelle Chacon
    Where I'm From- A Poem By Carolyn Licht
    Yet Another Encore- A Poem By Ronald Finn
    Your Eyes A Beauty To Behold! - A Poem By Samuel Abonyo

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